Diary of a Space Archivist: season 01, episode 01

Keeping a Diary

Episode one:

Intro Music


Diary of a Space Archivist. Episode One: Keeping a Diary

Intro music resumes 

SFX:     Typing

Sam Lyons:

Ok… erm, I’ll just finshi this bit and… THERE.  Erm. This is Sam.  Err.. this is er, day 38, archiving sector G Alpha.  And this is my, my audio diary.  Corps told me that I have to keep an audio diary from now on.

It’s not for them they stressed.  It’s for me. Um… It’s because CAL’s not been working really for about, ten days? Yeah, actually exactly ten days.  And it’s a long time I guess to go without hearing another voice.

Although, technically, when I play this back, I will just be hearing my voice.  Which, I argued to crops is exactly the same as I’m doing all the time anyway.  That seemed to make them a little bit twitchy and… they still thing this would be better for some reason.  So, I am being a good archivist employee and (sniff) here we go.  My diary.  

My third voyage. (Laughs). Voyage is err… Voyage is a little bit fancy.  I wouldn’t say I ‘voyage’.  I archive. That’s what I do… I’m in space though so… you know that’s pretty cool. It’s the you know, Dewey system in space or something… I don’t really know how the Dewey system works, but I imagine it’s a bit tedious though, a bit like what I do out here…

I, I did want to be in the crew of the Discoverer, but I, I didn’t make the cut.  But here I am… mum… still in space though haha… which was my dream… oh, reaching for the stars, um, sort of literally.  Now I guess this is maybe… um a stop gap against what couldbe a slow descent into madness…  I’ll hopefully get CAL up and running soon. I’ve been trying to fix it but… no, err, no dice.

We encountered like a debris… um field?  I, I want to say field.  A debris-field?  Can you have a field in space?  Really? Anyway, a debris-field.  I was asleep and CAL was meant to make adjustments to our flight path in the event of things like debris-fields, but for some reason didn’t and… erm… the ship took some damage and err.. I suppose CAL actually bore the brunt of that.

I never thought I’d really miss that, you know, little annoying voice but… err yeah… it is pretty quiet out here.

(BIG sigh). 

I had sort of different ideas for my life, you know, I was gonna be… one of the first people out there, going through new sectors, and discovering things and finding new life… and you know…. I mean not that theyhave, to be fair.  The Discoverer crew.  They’venot found new life.

Plankton.  Sort of plankton.  Not really plankton, but things like plankton.  Maybe that’s why I didn’t make the cut?  I’m not that sciencey…

Ah well (pause) I miss CAL.




CAL?(SFX of SAM hitting the side of CAL – like trying to get your TV/radio/whatever to start working again) CAL!?


Re… booting.


CAL come on.. what…


System recovery.  Unknown.

SFX:     Metal on metal sounds 


I mean, maybe if I…


Unknown.  Unknown entity.


Unknown entity?  What does that even mean?  What if I…

SFX:     removing a panel

SFX:     sound of a creature chirruping



SFX:     creature chirruping


What is that?



You’ve been listening to Diary of a Space Archivist, written and acted by Beccy Stirrup with thanks to 

For more on this and other projects, visit geekygirl.uk, and thanks for listening, it means a lot.