On letting go of writing…

Earlier this week I finally released a book that I have been tinkering with  for over a decade (on-and-off).

Over. A. Decade.

What nonsense.

The book in question is called Intergalactic Fly-Fishing and it is finally available via amazon.  Hurray!

Why has it taken so long?

Good question.  Not so easy to answer but I’ll give it a shot…

I wrote it – or at least the bones of what it has become – for an MA in Creative Writing, back in 2004.  It was an experiment.  I wanted to see what I could do.  I wanted to see what writing could be.

When I submitted it: dialogue was in columns, pages folded out… it sounds pretentious, but I think it was (and is) more playful than pretentious…

Without question, though, it is a weird book.

I tried a few agents and publishers.  Some liked it, but it was too weird.

So I shelved it.  Then I picked it back up because I’d always felt it missed a particular section.  Then I shelved it.  Then I played with it some more.  And so on.

The thing is… I like it.

I like this little, weird book.

Around five years ago it became obvious to me that I really needed to publish it.

But I didn’t.

I didn’t – because by then I had become too afraid.

What if it wasn’t / isn’t any good?

What if no one likes it?

What if no one buys it?

And I had bought into this idea that it was/is just too weird.

And by default, so was I.

What a shame.

I am weird.  No doubt about that.  But, too weird to allow myself to publish?  Nah…

Earlier this summer I hit a rough patch.  And I decided that enough is enough.

Enough is enough

I decided that all of the creative things I’d been holding onto needed to have their day.

Boom – I made the first series for an audio drama podcast called Diary of a Space Archivist (and it is receiving positive feedback).

Boom – Intergalactic Fly-Fishing finally has its day.

Boom – more projects will follow… (I like saying ‘boom’).

But this project, this book, is special.  It’s taken fourteen years to get here.  So I’m going to pour myself a whisky and quietly toast the fact that it now exits outside of my hard drive.

If you decide to buy it – thank you – I hope that you enjoy it.  It is a little bit of me.

If you, too, are holding back your creative projects – don’t.

Have a little faith in yourself.  Give yourself the time, and the encouragement, that you give to others.

Have a go.

For heaven’s sake, don’t wait fourteen years!